It’s so cold that . . .
1. It’s colder than MARS. The high on Mars on Monday was 23. Most of the Midwest and a lot of Canada couldn’t come close to that.
2. It’s too cold to break the law. The police in Priceville, Alabama and Noblesville, Indiana have both BANNED CRIME. They put out messages saying it’s just too damn cold for you to do anything illegal.
3. It’s too cold to TALK. The National Weather Service advised people in the Midwest, quote, “to protect your lungs from severely cold air, avoid taking deep breaths [and] minimize talking.”
4. It’s cold enough that the term “instant frostbite” is getting thrown around. At negative temperatures with high wind chills, like the Midwest is getting right now, it’s possible to get frostbite in just five to 10 minutes outside.