O.J. Simpson Is Dead

O.J. Simpson died Wednesday after a battle with cancer.  He was 76 years old.

I think we all know the bio:  He won the Heisman Trophy as a running back for USC, then had a record-breaking NFL career with the Buffalo Bills.

After that he transitioned to a career as a sideline reporter, a commercial pitchman . . . famously for the Hertz car rental company . . . and an actor.

The highlight of his Hollywood career was easily his role as the bumbling cop Nordberg in the “Naked Gun” movies.

But then in 1994, SOMEBODY killed O.J.’s ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman.  Cue the white Bronco chase, a bloody glove, an N-word spewing cop, and some shady jury manipulation and . . .

O.J was INNOCENT.  Legally speaking, of course.  He was later found liable for their deaths in CIVIL court, and ordered to pay the Goldman family $33.5 million.  They only ever got a tiny fraction of that.

O.J. DID spend nine years behind bars, after he and some friends busted into a hotel room in Vegas to recover what O.J. said was stolen memorabilia.  One of his people had a gun.  He was released in 2017.

O.J.’s family is asking for “privacy and grace.”  (Privacy, sure.  But grace?  I wouldn’t count on it.)

Here’s everything else you need to know:

1.  O.J. died owing the Goldmans more than $100 MILLION, including interest.  And they still plan on grabbing whatever they can . . . if anything is left.

2.  Ron Goldman’s father Fred released this statement:  “The only thing I have to say is it’s just further reminder of Ron being gone all these years.  It’s no great loss to the world.  It’s a further reminder of Ron’s being gone.”

Prosecutor Marcia Clark sent condolences to the Simpson family.  The White House did the same.

3.  The same day that O.J.’s death was announced, Ford recalled more than 22,000 Broncos, due to possible cracked fuel injectors.

4.  YouTube has 35 minutes of Norm Macdonald telling O.J. jokes on “Saturday Night Live”.  Those jokes allegedly got Norm fired.

5.  In O.J.’s final Tweet, on February 11th, he said his health was good and he was, quote, “just about over” his issues.

6.  This meme is funny, but it’s off by a day.  O.J. died on the 10th . . . his death was ANNOUNCED on the 11th.  And here’s a spot-on headline from “The Onion”.

7.  And finally, just because it’s legendary, here’s a full minute of David Schwimmer, playing Robert Kardashian on the limited series “The People vs. O.J. Simpson”, saying “Juice“.