What Makes The Ideal Husband?

This was shared in the New York Times a few years back.

• Ignore the Hollywood notion of love. In movies, all it takes to make a marriage work is to be deeply in love. It’s the notion of love conquering all. You can be deeply in love with someone to whom you cannot be successfully married.

• Never marry a man who has no friends. This means a man will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. Look to a man’s friends to see a piece of his true self.

• Look at how he uses money. Is he responsible? Stingy? Most marriages that flounder do so because of money. The wife may be thrifty and the husband has 10 credit cards maxed out. You need to be on the same page financially.

• Steer clear of someone whose life you can run — someone who never makes demands or challenges you. It’s good to have a doormat at home — but not to be married to one.

• More marriages are killed by silence than violence. The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive. You have to be able to communicate.

• Don’t marry someone thinking you can change them. If he’s a player, a drinker, or treats you badly while dating — a good woman will not change those characteristics. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so.