“Secret Spending” By Spouses Can Actually Strengthen Relationships
Here’s some relationship advice: If you’re lacking that extra SPARK, try going out and buying something for yourself . . . then keeping the purchase a secret from your significant other. And THAT might help. (???)
A new study has found that “secret spending” by spouses may strengthen the relationship. The idea is that NOT telling your partner creates GUILT, and feeling guilt leads to an unplanned investment in the relationship. Then, your partner feels closer to you, because you’ve taken an initiative to do nice things.
For example, you stop by a happy hour with some friends on the way home . . . buy a rounds of drinks, and decide not to mention that to your partner. But then you feel guilty about it, so you cook dinner, and clean the house after.
This little secret is something minor and mundane . . . like not mentioning a purchase or two, indulging in pizza or fast food, smoking a few cigarettes when away from your partner, or keeping a little extra cash to yourself.
The study found that this kind of thing is very common. In fact, 100% of the couples in the study were able to recall at least one example.
But the reason this can be a NET POSITIVE is because the initial secret is harmless . . . or, at least, it isn’t THAT big a deal.
So it does NOT work for MAJOR secrets . . . like if you took all the retirement money and bought a house in the Cayman Islands.