If You Use These Phrases, You May Have Low Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is defined as “the ability to perceive and evaluate feelings accurately in ourselves and others.”  But how do you know if you need to work on those skills?  Well, if you use any of the following phrases, it might be a sign you have a low emotional I.Q.

1.  “I’m not changing.  This is who I am.”  People that have low emotional intelligence are stuck in their ways and refuse to evolve.  Instead, try: “I want to be open to feedback, even when it’s hard to hear.”

2.  “I don’t care how you feel.”  If you disregard other people’s feelings, you most likely have low emotional intelligence.  Try this instead: “I’m sorry you’re feeling upset.  How can I help?”

3.  “It’s your fault I feel this way.”  If you have strong emotional intelligence, you don’t blame others for your feelings.  Try this instead: “I’m feeling emotional right now.  Here’s why.”

4.  “You’re just wrong.”  Emotionally intelligent people focus more on understanding each other’s experience, and recognizing nuance.  Try, “I want to hear your perspective even when I don’t see things the way you do.  Can you help me understand why you’re feeling this way?”