Everything Super Bowl 58

After last night’s big game, we ventured out into the Internet in search of some trivia and interesting facts on Super Bowl 58.  Here’s what we came up with:

1.  There were two record-setting field goals in Super Bowl 58.  In the second quarter, San Francisco kicker Jake Moody drilled a 55-yard field goal to make it 3-0.  That was the longest field goal in Super Bowl history.

The record had stood for 31 years.  The previous record of 54 yards was set in 1993 by Buffalo kicker Steve Christie.

But Moody’s record didn’t even last TWO QUARTERS.  In the third quarter, Kansas City kicker Harrison Butker set a new record with a 57-yard field goal.

2.  Moody also missed an extra point in the fourth quarter that MIGHT have ultimately prevented overtime . . . but who knows.  Moody was previously 68-for-68 on extra point kicks.  The kick was blocked.

3.  The Chiefs are the NINTH team to REPEAT as Super Bowl champs . . . and the first since the Patriots did it in 2004 and 2005.

4.  The 49ers have lost the last THREE Super Bowls they’ve appeared in.  They also lost in 2020 to the Chiefs . . . and in 2013 to the Baltimore Ravens.  (Somewhere, Bills fans are saying, “Oh, cry me a river!”)

Their last WIN in the Super Bowl came in 1995 against the then-San Diego Chargers.  They’re now 5-3 in Super Bowls.  (Somewhere, Lions fans are saying, “Oh, cry me a river!”)

5.  Andy Reid and Kyle Shanahan were the FOURTH pair of head coaches to face each other in multiple Super Bowls.  And now, the coach who won the first game is 4-0 in the rematches.

6.  Patrick Mahomes was 28 years, 147 days old on Sunday and became the first quarterback in NFL history to start FOUR Super Bowls prior to turning 30.

He easily broke the record set by Tom Brady, who started HIS fourth Super Bowl at 30 years and 184 days old.

7.  This was the first Super Bowl to go to overtime since the notorious Super Bowl in 2017, which was the ONLY other overtime game.  That was the one when Tom Brady and the Patriots stormed back from a 27-3 deficit to defeat the Atlanta Falcons.

8.  I know this isn’t any consolation, but after the game, Vegas named the San Francisco 49ers the favorite to win the Super Bowl . . . NEXT year.  The Chiefs are hot on their tails.

9.  This year’s Gatorade bath was PURPLE . . . just like it was when the Chiefs won last year.  (Here’s UNCENSORED video.)

10.  A lot of football fans were caught in the middle . . . and watched the Super Bowl without rooting for either team.

If you were LITERALLY and PHYSICALLY halfway between Kansas City and San Francisco . . . you’d be in Green River, Wyoming.  It’s a small town of in the southwestern part of the state.  (???)


As always, plenty of insanity surrounded the Super Bowl this year. Here’s a quick round-up . . .

1.  The big surprise for your weird, flat-Earther uncle was when the Taylor Swift conspiracy nonsense DIDN’T come true.  That was a shock.

She was supposed to endorse Joe Biden after the Chiefs won and Travis Kelce proposed to her on the 50-yard-line . . . or something.  The Chiefs did win, and there WAS a kiss.  But no endorsement.  (Obviously, Taylor did orchestrate that final play of the game though, full psyop-style.)

Whoever runs Joe Biden’s Twitter page poked fun at it after the game.  They posted a “Dark Brandon” meme where Biden had laser eyes, and the caption said, “Just like we drew it up.”  (Here’s the post.)

(Donald Trump also appeared to reference the conspiracy thing hours before the game.  He said Taylor should endorse HIM because he signed the Music Modernization Act in 2019, and it would be “disloyal” if she didn’t.)

(Of course, none of this ever ends.  Now the conspiracy people will just say the endorsement plan got scrapped after they figured it out.  Sadly, this is the world we live in now.)

2.  Someone scanned social media posts to find the most popular Super Bowl beer in all 50 states.  And the official sponsor of the game . . . Bud Light . . . didn’t rank first ANYWHERE.

Miller Lite was #1 across the Midwest . . . in New England, Michelob Ultra . . . in much of the Northwest, Coors Light . . . Yuengling in Pennsylvania and a handful of states around it . . . the only state where Budweiser ranked first was Missouri . . . and from California to Florida across the south, it was Modelo.

3.  People still aren’t sick of the “Superb Owl” joke.  So owl photos were all over social media this weekend.  Google searches for it also spiked.

4.  Frito-Lay rebranded the Vegas Strip as “Chip Strip”.  They decked out the Luxor pyramid as a giant Dorito, and built a Cheetos-themed wedding chapel next to the fake Brooklyn Bridge at the New York-New York Hotel & Casino.  Two Frito-Lay employees got married there on Saturday.

5.  Google Trends live-tweeted a bunch of stats on what Americans were searching for during the game.

During the first half, lots of people were asking Google what the “lowest scoring Super Bowl” was.  It was five years ago when only 16 total points were scored in Super Bowl 53.  The Patriots beat the Rams 13 to 3 that year.

Searches for “Super Bowl overtime rules” spiked 4,200% after regulation ended.  The phrase “nail biter meme” also started trending.  And don’t watch a lot of football in general?  “Understanding football for dummies” was a top-trending search during the game.

Alicia Keys’ red piano at halftime caused a big spike in searches for “adult piano lessons near me.”  We’ll see if people actually follow through with that.

And finally, the best question we googled was “Why do football players have TAILS?”  Turns out it was just a lot of people mistyping the word “TOWELS”.  The answer is . . . because football players tend to sweat a lot.